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I'm sorry to hear about your frustration. Though I think it's being alone tonight that's allowing you to feel more of yourself, and knowing oneself better is always good. And it's also allowing you to feel how strongly you want these things, yet learn you can be trusted to feel your desires and not uncontrollably act them out. This is a great development. Hallelujah! From your comments you seem to be all the way over to the "nothing" side of the spectrum of behaviors. You have (wisely) chosen that over completely opening to which for you seems to be somehow linked to acting out your desires. While you're starting to feel the costs of this restraint (that trapped feeling), given the choice between all or nothing, nothing can often be the better choice. What you haven't exhibited in your comments is much ability to explore your interests through *imagination and fantasy*. (Your latest comment is the first yay!) Fantasy is the middle ground that connects nothing ("oh, I mustn't think of that") and all ("I want to be gangbanged by a group of men so I'm going to the closest bar and fuck everyone I can find right now"). It's possible to enjoy a fantasy and yet also have the wisdom to understand acting out a physical reality might be very different. In fact, a physical reality not even be something we want. Fantasy lets us have the best of both worlds. Like the difference between wanting to fly and so taking up base jumping versus wanting to fly and just jumping off of a building, fantasy lets us feel and be who we are and do it in a way that's free and safe. I'd speculate that avoiding even fantasy has historiy been a good thing for you. If you haven't yet developed the ability to fantasize about things without also being able to resist acting them out, then not fantasizing is really smart and keeps you safe. But that you're willing to express your fantasies here, even if it's not yet with your husband, is a sign that that muscle, that ability to enjoy through imagination without being swept into a perhaps much less pleasant reality, is getting strong enough you can begin to venture outside your safe little cage. (to be continued Single ladies want online dating sex site )
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